[snipping]
[phone ringing]
(Answering maching) Hi, leave me a message
or text me like a normal person.
[beep]
Um... I just have a quick question for you, um...
So if you...
if you see somebody murder someone,
and you don't turn in the person who did the murdering,
what happens to you,
or what happens to like, you and your friends
do you... do you like, go to jail?
Call me as soon as you can.
I am so proud of you.
You've only been on your own for one week
and you're already making a connection with him.
See. I told you
that you were going to do great.
Just, y'know, stay away from animals.
He would hunt down these women and he would kill them.
Then he would skin them
and sew their skins together into a kind of skin suit.
- Hannibal Lecter! - Leatherface!
Wynonna Judd!
-No.. No, the other one- -Ashley Judd!
No, not the other Judd.
The other guy from Silence of the Lambs!
First name is an animal name...
Buffalo Bill!
Yes!
Keep going Joe, you gotta have those papers ready.
Go, go, go.
I have no idea who this is..
Oh my God.
Are you an idiot?
No...
She played Jenna on 30 Rock .
Oh yeah, and she was in Vacation .
The Chevy Chase vacation movie is about incest?
No - that's Juliette Lewis. She sucks his thumb.
No, no, no, Juliette Lewis is in Christmas Vacation
-I've never seen that. -What?
Oh. It's SO good. You HAVE to see it.
Andy, do you still have that DVD we stole from that cabin?
That was such a fun trip.
I'm still so mad I missed that trip
because of that asshole Tom who stood me up.
His tinder profile even said, "I'm an asshole."
Well, when people tell you who they are, believe them.
Oprah.
Joe, are you still gonna go?
I think it's your turn still...
Oh, I didn't know we were still playing.
Ah, Cape Fear .
That's the movie Juliette Lewis puts something in her mouth,
it's Robert De Niro's thumb.
(Emma) You know what's crazy, I've never seen that either.
Give me a minute, let me just write down all of these.
Wait, Cape Fear is not like a killer/slasher thing, right?
Oh, no, no, no, I can't watch those kind of movies.
Movies like that are so bullshit,
the killer's are almost always someone the victim knows.
[timer dings] Okay, let's reset the timer for Joe.
I don't really know what's happening?
We're starting the timer over because these crazies
won't stop interrupting the game.
I'm gonna go for Joe since he doesn't know celebrities.
Could we just stop for a second?
-Who's timing me? -I am. Go.
This is just really confusing.
Tiny weird looking woman,
-won an Oscar... -Linda Hunt!
Sorry, Andy and I have this Linda Hunt thing...
I fucking love her...
A 90's talk show host.
Jesus Christ, that could be ANYBODY.
-Rosie O'Donnell. -No.
-Ricki Lake. -No.
.Sally Jesse Raphael. -No.
You know, it's RAY-phi-el.
-Barbara Walters? -90's talk show host!
It's RAW-phi-el
No I am 100% positive it is Sally Jesse RAY-phauel!
Cameron, you need to be less certain
because it's RAW-phi-el.
Ok, I think we're done with this game?
One idiot player on a team can kinda ruin the whole game.
(Emma) Wow.
I told you I'd be terrible at this.
You were pretty bad.
Let's get a refill. Anyone?
Oh yeah, just bring the whole bottle.
Jenny Jones, of course.
Emma that's your handwriting.
Yeah, I wrote this clue.
It got really aggressive in there.
They're being funny.
Well how am I suppose to know all this stuff?
Look, the whole attacking each other thing is just
their way of showing that they like you.
Man, Joe is so handsome.
So handsome.
I was so busy with the game I didn't really notice.
Andy seems to really like him.
Really? Did he say that?
Maybe just smile more.
Make them laugh.
Joke.
I don't really joke.
What do you mean?
I don't joke.
Okay.
Is this weird?
What?
Andy's new boyfriend.
It's been six dates, they're not boyfriends.
Are they?
Okay, so clearly this is weird for you.
Can we not do this, okay?
Aww Louis, I loved you guys together.
I know, you guys were so good together.
I don't think they like me.
Of course they like you.
You're gorgeous.
Mmmm.
Okay...
I think I know what'll make you feel better.
Hold on a second
What are you doing?
I'm giving you my sexy look.
Oh.
Y'know, we've been dating for a week,
and we haven't had sex yet.
That's kind of a first for me.
Because I'm a slut.
Well, I told you, I have to take things slow.
I recognize that sexy look now.
Come here.
They don't care if we slip away for a second.
They're in Broadway mode.
(Cameron) Patti Lupone!
I say we wait.
Okay. Fine.
But tonight's the night.
For what?
You're not going to make me wait any longer.
Tonight you are all mine.
If I ever get a boyfriend,
I'm going to do whatever it takes to make it work.
I'll never give up.
What are you guys doing in there?...
Hey can I play my new song for you?
You know what, now is not a good time.
Did I tell you about my new script idea?
Okay, so anyway it's amazing. Okay so...
The movie opens with this woman.
She's driving her car, and she's like rockin' out
to some christian music.
She's like reallly getting into it.
And then she drives by this car
with all these people outside of it.
And the audience should get the sense that something is off
because the people are acting really weird.
But this woman is totally oblivious.
Because... Well, okay, what the audience doesn't know
is that this woman is actually in an abusive relationship.
-Oh my God. -And... yeah.
Because she was like married when she was 15,
and her dominating husband used to beat her.
But now, he's really old and sick, and bed-ridden,
and um, she has to take care of him.
When the car pulls up on the side of the road...
I'm totally picturing Lily Tomlin.
Oh, you know, that would be great.
-Yeah? -Yeah, Yeah.
-Okay, so she pulls over... -Do you know her?
Mmmm, we've... been at events.
But, when the car pulls up on the side of the road...
I found Joe hoarding the wine.
I don't even drink.
You don't drink?
No.
I'll take that.
You're not in AA are you?
No.
I could never date anyone who's in AA.
I know.
No fun.
Those people are incredibly self-obsessed.
Yeah.
♪
[laughing]
♪
[soft moans]
Let's take this off, come on.
I'm sorry.
What?
I don't know if I'm ready for this?
You're kidding, come on.
No.
I'm not.
You don't want to have sex with me?
No.
Not right now.
We've been dating...
I'm patient.
I've been patient, Joe, but this is fucking crazy.
It isn't crazy.
What is wrong with you?
I don't think I love you.
Love?
I don't need you to love me.
I just need you to put your fucking dick in my ass.
I'm feeling weird.
Are you like, home-schooled or something?
No.
Do you have an STD?
God, you don't like, have warts or something do you?
No.
Then what the fuck is wrong with you?
You're being kind of a dick here.
What are you into?
I will do whatever you want.
Joe,
I will do anything that you want.
Anything.
I don't know...
There's got to be something that you want to do.
Huh?
Yeah.
That feeling you're feeling right now.
Just let it take you over.
Release the beast within.
Really?
That thing that you want to do -
do it to me.
Well there's this one thing...
Okay.
Wha...
Well you forgot your shoes!
♪
Welcome to
People I want to... [door closing]
Joe?
[noises in other room]
Joe?
[Joe's phone ringing]
Joe?
[phone continues ringing]
What the fuck?
[plastic crinkles]
Oh...
So this is what you're into?
Kinky.
This isn't going to fuck up the floors, is it?
Because this is actually my friend Eric's place,
he just lets me stay here.
He has a Golden Globe for Roseanne .
It's funny, I thought this was your first time.
It is.
Come over here.
So...
what's the plastic for?
It's so your blood doesn't get everywhere.
My blood?
♪
Did you just fucking stab me?
♪
[thud]
[screaming]
[breathing heavily]
Kill.
Thank you for picking me up ma'am.
Of course dear, what lonely woman wouldn't pick up
a strange man from the side of the road.
I don't mean to be rude,
but is that a machete in your lap?
Why yes it is.
Why on earth are you carrying a machete?
Well, it's to chop you into pieces with.
Chop me into pieces?
Why would you want to do that?
Well, it's much easier than burying your body whole.
Let's be honest,
it is not easier to chop someone into pieces
than it is to bury them whole.
You're right, but well, it's a lot more fun.
[laughing]
Oh you kids.
I blame video games.
What about a take on Duck Dynasty
called Fuck Die Nasty ?
Okay, and we make a dildo that like, when you suck on it
it shoots out vanilla cream.
-Oh my God! -How is that a video?
Well, it's a dildo
and when you suck on it it shoots out vanilla cream.
So, you want me to put a dildo in my mouth
and pretend to suck it off for a youtube video?
what if we just do something that's really simple?
What if it's just like, this or that?
Just like you have to choose between two things-
That doesn't make any sense. Let's not do that.
it's not like you guys ever stick to the script.
Gretchen our last video got 1,000 views.
I think we know what we're doing.
we do something that actually has some meaning?
Like it's about something important...
What if we did something really character-y?
You know, like, what if we were just like two crazy people
-who run like, a cooking show? -Yes,
that's exactly what I mean.
Two midwestern pieces of white trash,
who have to work in like, a five star restaurant?
Oooo, I love it!
Yeah, but we did that drag-y web series last summer-
Yea but that was Pam and Tabby
and they're hairdressers not cooks.
I did just read this really interesting book about gender theory
and it had this whole chapter about men in...
Fine. We're gonna do it. [doorbell rings]
I really think this is gonna be the one.
I know, but I had a dream about this one.
-It was my idea. -I know.
So, Teddy, this is George, and this is Barnes.
Hi.
Gretchen says, you're her trainer?
And her boyfriend.
-So she pays you? -That's kinda sexy.
And a little sad.
It's his job!
Did you guys come up with a new TV show?
I told you, it's not a TV show, it's a web series.
You know, I plan on playing a blonde bombshell
in our next video.
Do you like blondes?
- Uh. Sure. - Oh you do?
And brunettes.
Wait... what just happened? Did I just get in trouble here?
Right, we'll see you Saturday.
Okay, great.
-Nice to meet you Teddy. -Yeah, nice to meet you.
-You're so obnoxious. -What?
Seriously, I have a question.
If they have sex after they work out,
does that make Teddy a sex worker?
Because if so I would totally pay for that, he's really hot.
Who's hot?
You.
I want to show you my character now, I just leveled up.
Did you buy the pellets for Meryl Streep?
No, I haven't done that yet.
Okay, so you've just been on my computer
playing video games all day?
-I'll do it now. -Great.
You HAVE to get the kind with no animal byproducts.
-Yeah. -You know that.
-Excuse me. -Yeah.
You guys seem to be doing really well.
-We're doing great. -It sounds like it.
Never better.
♪
Those are really good.
What?
That frozen beef and broccoli.
It's really good.
Okay.
Thank you.
You make those stupid videos.
Yea. I do.
the woman who gets chopped up into pieces.
Oh, I like that one.
I liked it too.
I just killed a guy last night, for the first time.
Oh, did you?
It was a lot harder than I thought.
[chuckles]
Emotionally?
Physically.
It was exhausting.
I've never killed a person before.
Only small animals.
So you kill small animals?
I love it.
And what do you do with all those little...
animal corpses?
Oh, I'm getting into taxidermy.
Of course you are, classic.
How about you?
One time I put a garbage can over a squirrel in my backyard.
But I didn't kill it, I just forgot it was there.
Oh, you killed it.
No, it probably got away.
No, you killed it.
Well, it's still not as cool as killing a person though.
So, here's your gold star for weirdness.
I'm George.
Joe.
Hi Joe.
Hi George.
So do you live in this neighborhood?
No.
I was just waiting for you.
So what? You're like...
stalking me on the sidewalk?
I guess so.
Do you wanna... come over?
Would you like to have dinner?
Oh, like a date?
Um hmm.
Sure.
George Kreeger. Facebook me.
I'm actually not on Facebook.
Don't tell me you you're one of those people who don't have TV.
I have a rule about people like you.
People like what?
Murderers, and people without TV.
I have TV.
Oh, thank God. Here, give me your phone.
We'll do it "old school."
Is this a new phone?
No.
You literally have no friends.
I don't have any friends.
So what, you're telling me like,
you're some lonely murderer who I'm giving my number to?
Hot.
That was easy.
See ya, killer.
♪
Wait, so he walked up to you while you were holding produce?
God, that kind of thing NEVER happens to me.
Well you don't really give off inviting energy.
What does that mean?
-You have an angry nose. -No I don't.
I do?
Angry noses can be really sexy.
Is my angry nose sexy?
I just told Joe that I was looking forward to seeing him
and he said that was great.
Also I'm more of a relationship kind of person.
I'm not really a come up and cruise me
in the middle of the street kind of guy.
No offense but that's a little weird.
-Joe's coming to game night. -My game night?
-Um hmm. -Uh...
-Is that okay? -Yeah, it's fine.
I'll just have to call a friend
and ask him to bring an extra chair.
It's no big deal.
I think you guys are really gonna like him.
He's so funny.
And did I mention that he's like, crazy hot?
Yeah. A few times.
He saw our video.
The "People I Want to Kill" one.
He has a really twisted sense of humor.
Oli really liked that video too. So...
Also he doesn't have a job.
So I think he might be a trust fund baby.
Oh that's great.
That's just what LA needs.
I just sent him an emoticon and he asked how I did it.
He doesn't know what an emoticon is?
Those are those happy faces you send in texts, right?
[laughs]
Look at this face my daughter just made.
-Tabby. -That's neat.
That's really funny.
-That is neat. -She sent you a face.
She did that with letters... She's very creative.
She's great. Where is Jimmy?
He's supposed to come over here
and clean up this permanent solution.
-I know. -Every time
-I ask him to do something -Um hmm.
He just gives me some awful look.
Um hmm. Jo Ann and I call that
his murder look.
What is a murder look?
Well it's when he looks at you
real intense like, you know
and tilts his head down like he's about to kill you.
[gasps] Don't do it to me!
So, Joe, how's it going with Andy?
(Joe) Andy's dead but I met someone new.
His name is George.
We have a date tonight.
Oh a date?
Well you continue to impress me, Joe.
Honestly, I wasn't sure if you'd be back to killing cats.
Sister Act One over Sister Act Two ?
Okay, I think it's just Sister Act .
Not Sister Act One .
It's not like you'd say, Home Alone One !"
-I do! -Why is he shouting?!
Gretchen directs all our videos.
And she also may be paying her boyfriend for sex.
Is nothing compared to Sister Act Two .
Again, Sister Act !
Lauren Hill?
COME ON! Somebody back me up
-Gretchen? -What?
Sister Act Two !
I had a really hard time in Catholic School,
and Sister Act has always been difficult for me.
Oli?
Yeah. I saw Sister Act One .
Oh that's cool.
Can you put down your phone for ten fucking minutes?
We have company!
This is exactly why Gretchen doesn't bring
any of her boyfriends over for game night!
[laughs]
I'm checking my e-mail.
-Let me see. -No.
Because you were texting.
You look way different when you're sending an email.
How does it look different?
I don't know, you just do.
I'm only here because I know you'd throw a fit if I weren't.
These people aren't even my friends.
Okay.
I'm gonna play Warcraft, okay?
Uh, I gonna go make sure that Meryl Streep has eaten.
Did I tell you guys that Meryl Streep
killed and ate her baby a few months ago?
Yeah, about forty times.
Well, it's gross.
(Teddy) Meryl Streep?
(Gretchen) Yeah, it's his hamster.
(Teddy) He has a hamster?
I just... I can't talk about Whoopi Goldberg anymore.
I know, I know.
Is this the one we brought?
Yeah but this one looks nicer.
(Gretchen) Hey you guys,
Teddy just reminded me we've got this thing,
that we have to go to, so, ah... see you later.
-Okay. -Bye.
Nice meeting you Joe.
-Bye guys. -Bye.
Wait, did they just take our bottle of wine?
I think they did.
Should I kill them?
Now you're just looking for an excuse to do that.
I guess so.
That was like a ten dollar bottle of wine though.
Are Barnes and Oli coming back anytime?
Ooh, I don't know.
They're like the poster boys
for relationships that have reached their expiration date.
Oh! They are?
And he's such a dick to Barnes.
I mean like, we had this video
go sort of viral a couple weeks ago,
well not viral but Adam Lambert tweeted it,
and he never even said, congratulations.
-He didn't? =No.
-Congratulations. -Thank you.
I just don't know how Barnes doesn't just strangle him.
Oh. Strangling is a lot harder thany you think it is.
[laughing] Oh is it?
Yea.
I could stab him for you.
I've got lots of knives.
[laughing] Oh you.
I already like you a lot more than the last guy I dated.
Good.
♪
-Throw those chips out. -What?
I have no business having chips in this house.
No but, the whole point of being alive
is knowing that you have chips in your home.
Oh, THAT'S the point of being alive?
-I had absolutely no idea. -Um hmm.
No, if those stay here, I will eat every single one of them.
You won't, because you'll be like,
I don't need to go to buy chips, because I'll have chips here
and you won't worry about it.
I'm throwing these chips away
unless you take them home right now.
Great.
-Don't do it. -Consider it done.
She's gonna regret it.
She regrets none of it.
So Joe?
Yeah... he's, he's so weird.
-Yeah. -He's quiet.
But I don't know, maybe I think that's odd
just because I spend too much time with you.
-Cute. Cute. -Thank you.
No, he is quiet, and I think that's cool.
I mean, I don't always have a competition
to get a word in edgewise.
Okay...
And I don't want to sound like an asshole,
but I get to be the star when he's around.
And he's okay with that.
Yeah, you sound like an asshole.
I just want you to have what I have.
You've been with this guy for like, five minutes.
-Well I'm a baby. -Ewww.
[laughing]
Hey.
[cell phone vibrates] Oh.
[gasps] It's Joe.
Can we talk?
-Hey. What's up? (Joe) Hey.
I'm just waiting out here by Oli's car to kill him.
Has he left yet?
[laughs] Oh. REALLY?
Yea.
Well he's still here.
What are you going to do if he and Barnes start to get it on,
and he stays the night?
Guess I'll have to wait til morning.
Aw. Should I bring you a blanket and some food?
I have trail mix in my duffle bag if I need it.
Always prepared.
That's why I have my duffel bag, it holds all my...
That was weird.
Hey, let me call you back in a bit.
What's up?
We just broke up.
Just now?
Yea.
I should have seen it coming. I mean,
we haven't had sex since...
I don't even know.
So wait. You're telling me that in the time it took for me
to come out here and answer my phone
you ended a year long relationship?
Yeah.
-I know it's not funny but.... -It's not.
It's pretty funny.
Shit. It's not funny at all.
Fuck Barnes, I've made it through episodes
of Bunheads longer than that took...
-Bunheads ? -Bunheads !
No.
It's that show from ABC Family?
-No. -It's on Netflix now.
[laughs] You know what I'm talking about?
It was that show with Sutton Foster.
-No. -She plays a Vegas showgirl
who's somehow like, sort of together
and like, not a mess at all, and like, no STD's.
-What? -And like, she moves back
to this small town and runs a dance studio....
[laughs]
So, basically what's going to happen to you post break-up.
It's not funny.
So what happened? You were like,
"You're a dick, Get out of my house"?
"We used to have so much fun and now you just pick on me."
Well that's his fault for having zero personality.
Yeah.
Here's your fucking key.
[door slams]
[whispering] I'm sorry Barnes.
Yeah, it's... whatever.
I'm a horrible person.
No, you're not horrible. Let's go inside.
You wanna eat some of those chips out of the trash?
More than anything.
I'm disgusting.
Shit.
Fuckin' dick!
Fuck, fucking asshole!
Fuckin' dick!
Fuck you, you fuckin' shit!
♪
Hey man, what... What are you doing...
What are you doing in my car, man?
Joe?
How'd you get here?
I was in your car.
Barnes and I just broke up.
What?
Hey, what? [grunts]
♪
What is that?
I don't understand what's happening.
I'm killing you.
Why don't I feel anything?
You don't?
[screams]
[screaming continues]
Chill man. Chill!
[grunts]
[cell phone rings]
Hey.
Hey, sorry about that.
But, you don't have to kill Oli now,
he and Barnes just broke up.
Too Late.
I'm gonna have to kill the drunk guy too.
And his whole family?
No, just one guy.
You're funny.
Hey, can I call you tomorrow?
I'm gonna have to ditch these bodies somewhere.
Okay, whatever, good night.
Bye.
♪
I love... Grease .
-The movie. -It's my favorite movie.
It's so fun.
It's... I love the stud.
You know people do sing-alongs with it?
That sounds fun. I don't even know...
-I sing-along at home. -Well.
-I pour my rosé, and I sing. -Yeah.
Sit on the couch all by yourself and sing?
Yeah, big whoop.
You live alone still, right?
-I do. -Yeah.
-I do, I prefer it that way. -Um hmm.
I hate roommates.
Are you dating at all?
No, not right now. I did, do you remember
that guy Chuck who came in and delivered the arrowhead?
-Uh huh. -Yeah, well I asked him,
-on a date. -What'd he say?
I asked him if he was married, he said no.
I said you know what, this is fate.
It's fate that we never see each other again.
-Ah! -And you don't have a...?
-No. -No.
-No it's just me. -Just you.
(George) I spent it at Epcot.
(Joe) With your parents? -With my parents
It was so crazy, my mom got so drunk off margaritas
that we had to take a golf cart out of the park.
So it ended up being really fun.
You're fun.
Awwww.
I'm serious.
You are.
You really make me smile.
And I don't smile that often.
Ya know, I wasn't sure you even liked me.
Really?
I do like you.
Well we haven't kissed,
and the other night you left in such a hurry after games.
I figured you were just like...
Not into it.
I am.
Yea?
Yea.
I've got to make you squirm first.
Dr. Strauss would never believe this.
Who's Dr. Strauss?
He's the doctor at the hospital where I used to live.
Oh you lived there?
It was my parents' idea.
Kind of like a therapy thing.
Oh, like pray the gay away?
No. Not like that.
It was more about learning empathy and self awareness.
Oh, I'd be SO into something like that.
I go to yoga.
But now I decided that I'm just gonna do what I want.
You only live once.
I spent so much time pushing down these feelings I've had
and now, finally,
I'm letting my impulses guide me.
Well, I'm glad I get to be with you while you're going wild.
Really?
Yeah, really.
I like talking to you George.
I've been having such a good week.
Hey guys.
Gretchen told me you were here.
I was nearby, so it's not crazy or anything.
I had to take poor Meryl Streep to the vet.
I don't think you're supposed to take hamsters tot the vet.
Well I thought she was depressed.
But it turns out hamsters don't get depressed
when their boyfriends break up with them.
But people do.
Did you watch Real Housewives this week?
Atlanta or Beverly Hills?
Please.
Beverly Hills.
You were so right about Kim.
I know, right?
She needs her own sitcom, or movie, or to be President.
She is all...
[voices muffled/echoing]
Sherman Oaks, or somewhere awful.
Van Nuys, I thought.
Here's your wine.
Oh, thank you.
Enjoy, your date fellas.
Oh I'm sorry.
I'll let you be.
Oh, you haven't talked to Oli have you?
Why would I talk to Oli?
I don't know. His roommate called me,
he didn't go home last night.
-Well that's weird. -Yeah.
All right, well Meryl and I better go.
-Hey Joe. -Hey.
Do you think he's gonna be upset?
About what?
That I killed Oli.
[chuckles] We better not tell him!
You think you're falling in love?
Oh boy. Um...
Joe, listen, love is...
how do I explain love to someone like you?
The way your brain works is...
Let's get into this on Saturday, okay?
(Joe) Okay.
(George) I'm nervous.
Why?
Well, you don't normally do the whole meet the parents thing
until you're boyfriends or really serious.
I am really serious.
-Yeah? -Yeah.
Aren't you?
Yeah.
I just feel a little under-dressed.
I mean look at me, I'm wearing a tablecloth.
But that's okay, parents always love me.
That was really delicious.
It's Scarpetta .
Tastes like chicken.
The restaurant that it came from is called Scarpetta .
I didn't cook this. So...
How is it that you two know each other?
I stalked him on his way home from the Grocery Store.
What does that mean?
I was on the way home from the grocery store,
and he noticed my frozen food.
Frozen food?
Beef and Broccoli.
I was surprised when Joe asked to bring someone home for lunch.
Joe has never brought a friend home for lunch before.
Oh... A friend.
What does he mean?
We're friends.
Elsa!
[speaking Japanese]
So how long have you two been friends?
Since Monday.
You brought a boy home for lunch
that you've only known for five days?
I like him.
What do you mean you like him?
He understands me.
I told him all about the hospital.
I thought we agreed that that was something
we were leaving in your past.
Well Dr. Strauss said it was important for me to be
open and up front with the people that I care about.
You care about a boy that you've known for only five days?
I do.
Are you hearing this?
[speaking Japanese]
You'll have to forgive me George.
Joe doesn't have any friends.
And I am not accustom to having conversations with strangers
in my own home.
I know it seems like this has moved really fast,
but, we just connected really quickly.
Connected?
Should you be connecting?
Yes, I should.
Oh we're not connecting connecting...
Yet.
Sorry.
Okay, that was weird. Um...
Let's just start over.
Hi, I'm George.
What is he doing?
He's starting over.
Like nothing happened.
I'm not going to play a game with him Joe.
I'm just... trying to be funny.
Why are you with this comedian, Joe?
Oh, George isn't a comedian.
Actually, I am sort of a comedian.
I mean, I write too.
I'm going to be very honest with you George.
Joe is a very troubled boy.
And it reflects poorly on your character
that you have not yet discerned this.
Huh.
Moms are usually my thing.
Goodbye George.
Wanna see my room?
This used to be the pool house.
That's why I'm still moving in.
That went really poorly.
It did?
Yeah, it did. Where were you?
I was sitting right next to you.
Why didn't you stick up for me?
I don't know.
I didn't notice.
That's the way she always is.
You didn't notice that she was extremely rude to me?
She called me a comedian, Joe.
But you said you were a comedian.
Yea, but she meant like a fool.
I didn't hear her call you a fool.
She didn't have to. I got the point!
Are you mad at me?
No.
I'm not mad at you .
I just was hurt by what your parents said.
But you are not your parents, and neither am I.
Well of course I'm not my parents.
That would be impossible.
I just don't know how you grew up with that woman?
She thinks you're disturbed.
Well... I guess I am.
You're not disturbed Joe.
They're the ones with the problem.
Not you.
You're... you're perfect.
Okay.
How about this:
I'll get rid of my parents. I'll kill them.
Come here.
Oh!
You really do do taxidermy.
I thought you were joking.
Joe.
Joe please don't do this.
[crying] Joe, what are you doing?
Joe, stop this now.
What are you doing?
Joe stop this... Joe...
Joe, we can call Dr. Strauss!
He can make it okay!
Joe, everything'll be okay!
Goddamnit Joe! Listen to your mother!
Be pragmatic Joe! Without us you've got nothing!
I have George.
Goddamnit Joe!!
No! [sobbing]
No! Goddamnit Joe!!...
♪
[glass shatters]
[fire roaring]
You have this nice little glass of pinot grigio.
Oh I love it! Love it, love it, love it!
Yeah, so don't drink it yet!
-Don't drink it? -No, no, no, not yet.
-Okay. -Swirl it around.
Just... you know, it has to breathe.
It smells like Sader wine.
I'm not going to get into politics with you.
Don't do it like that, Abby, just you know, just sort of...
you know what I mean?
Just like really, yeah... now smell.
Tell me what you smell.
Smells like a lake.
Really get in it.
I can't get my whole nose in here.
You don't have to get your whole nose in there.
Maybe... do we have different wines?
Try yours I guess.
Did I tell you my husband died?
Actually, maybe it does smell like a lake.
Have you killed any animals?
(Joe) Nope.
Good.
(Barnes) It's weird having an audience.
When I had a boyfriend, he would to sit in the other room and not stare.
Oh, well you have to be very nice to Joe today,
because he just killed his parents
so he's feeling very vulnerable.
What, was I not supposed to say?
How'd you do it Joe?
Fire.
Okay.
Okay, enough with the creepiness, Joe.
Tell me the truth.
Do I pull off this wig?
[laughs]
I like you the way you are.
I don't know what it is about wigs,
but they really just make me feel alive.
- Ugh. - What about you Teddy?
Do you think I make a pretty girl?
Well, I'd have to be pretty drunk, but I've had worse.
You have huh?
Joe, go get Teddy some beer!
Keep your mitts off my boyfriend.
You know something...
maybe if we lived together,
I wouldn't be tempted by this beautiful blonde bombshell.
I mean look at her, she's begging for it.
Oh, so you DO like blondes?
I think we are making her jealous Georgie.
I would do things to you she wouldn't dream of doing.
Okay, okay, okay, let's just shoot.
Action!
Well, scrambled eggs and bacon!
[laughs]
(Emma) Teddy!
-Guess we'll restart. -This is really...
I was in it, but whatever! It's fine.
♪
Oh hey.
I just gotta get a coffee, do you want anything?
What do they have?
It's Starbucks's!
Can I just stay here at your place?
Yeah, that's fine.
Okay, I will have a vanilla iced skinny mocha.
-So, a vanilla skinny mocha? -But hot.
[sighs]
-Wait. -What?
-I like this. -What?
Being with you, arguing together.
Like a couple that lives together...
[sighs]
Okay.
What?
You can move in.
You're serious?
I'm serious.
[laughs]
From now on, you get a 25% discount on personal training.
Oh God! Such a romantic Teddy.
I don't know how i can stand it.
Bye...
[shower water running]
♪
(Joe) Teddy?
Joe?
What the fuck are you doing here?
I wasn't looking at you naked.
I was just making sure you were alone.
Well you coulda knocked.
So what do you want?
[bag thuds on floor]
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Dude, you gotta get out of here.
I'm not gay.
I made out with a guy once, but that was in college.
I really like George.
What's the fucking matter with you?
Get outta here!
Where's my fucking phone?
[groans]
♪
(Gretchen) I forgot my fucking wallet!
Teddy?
Gretchen?
Teddy?
Oh my God! Oh!
[screams]
♪
Go!
Go away!
Go! Go away!
[screams/yells]
Ow, ow, ow!
♪
-It's just classic. -You know what I'm gonna do?
-What? -I think I'm gonna buy it.
-No, Lauren. -Yes, yes.
For me, and that way... [phone vibrates]
Hello?
(George) Hello. - Hi.
So, I'm sittiing here
and I just realized that I'm jealous.
Jealous?
What do you mean?
Jealous of Teddy.
Why?
I guess it was the way you two were talking earlier.
Joe, you have no reason to be jealous of Teddy!
The thing is,
I'm never jealous.
Of anything.
It's good, it's a...
it's a new feeling.
Really?
This is all new to me George.
Me too....
So you were jealous?
Yeah.
And I didn't even realize until after I killed him.
Oh no!
You killed Teddy now?
Almost.
He's almost dead. He's breathing a little.
Gretchen's all the way dead though.
You're just a regular serial killer now, aren't ya?
George,
your feelings really matter to me,
and I want to protect that.
You're the most important person in my life, George.
Oh Joe, that's so... sweet.
Well...
I should finish Teddy off.
One more stab should do it,
-head or heart? - Right, Teddy. Umm...
Heart.
Heart it is.
[sound of knife plunging]
What was that?
Teddy.
No really, what was that sound?
It was Teddy.
Oh my God!
I forgot to tell you who I saw at Cafe Figaro this morning.
Jenna Elfman!
Mmmm, did I tell you Brad's so into me like, are you crazy?
Oh my God, what?
He's so into me
it's almost too much, cause he's always like,
-buying me breakfast, -I love breakfast.
-bring me flowers, -They smell forever.
or like, waking me up with like, fresh coffee.
And it's like, ugh, too much, it's too much.
Oh God, it's amazing, he's like, really hot.
Well if he ever went with you I would be humiliated.
I would like, take a knife, and like, slice your face off.
-And then peel it off. -Ow.
And then just like, put it in the garbage
where it belongs.
Who's my baby girl? [chuckles]
[car door closing]
Andy?
[cell phone ringing]
Andy?
No. This is Louis.
Oh. Good.
We met on Sunday...
Yeah, I remember you. You called me an idiot.
Yeah. Anyway, have you seen Andy?
Not recently.
'Cause I'm here at his house right now.
I, I, I... He wasn't returning my phone calls so I came here.
And his front door was unlocked,
and his phone was just sitting here.
You were the last person to see him.
Is he mad at me?
Did he say anything?
Or is he... avoiding me?
I shouldn't answer that.
So he's mad at me.
Okay, is he with you right now? Can you please put him on?
No, he's not here.
Just ask him what I did.
[stutters] Just put him on.
Just forget about him Louis.
I didn't do anything!
I don't want to talk to you anymore.
Joe, you're freaking me out.
Goodbye Louis.
Joe!
You've killed 7 people?
(Joe) Well, 8 if you count our house keeper Elsa.
Are you joking?
No.
You know, I don't know if you are fantasizing or not,
but either way, we have got to get you back in here.
All right, because I need to evaluate
these thoughts that you're having.
Why didn't you just tell me if I killed people,
I'd feel normal?
Okay Joe, what is that look?
This is the look you give before you kill someone.
After all that I've done for you,
and all the help I've given you,
you would kill me?
Yeah.
Why?
Well,
I guess it's just because I want to.
I'm sorry if that's not good enough.
I wish I had a more profound answer.
Joe.
[yells]
[choking sounds]
[struggling to breathe]
(George) He is SO into me.
(George) Yeah, I feel like, he would do anything for me.
Like, anything.
There's one problem though, two problems really.
Alright, here's the George I know.
Well, we haven't really done anything sexual yet.
You haven't put your fingers in his butt yet?
-No. -Hmm.
Andy has this really dark sense of humor.
Like, he's always joking about killing people.
Who?
ME?!
But like, the other day he said he was gonna kill Teddy
because he was jealous of him.
At first I thought it was funny, right?
Okay, so he keeps talking about killing all your friends?
Yea, and his parents.
That's not what people do.
That's like, scary.
Well he's not scary...
he's gorgeous.
He just has a weird sense of humor.
And it's the joke we met on, so it's sort of his thing.
When people tell you who they are,
you're supposed to believe them.
Did you just quote Oprah on me?
It's actually Maya Angelou.
But honestly George, you have to stop doing this.
Doing what?
Your relationships never last.
You lose your head over some guy
and fifteen minutes later we never hear about him again.
Honestly, I can't invest in someone you care about
because I feel like it's never a REAL relationship.
Oh, so what, I'm supposed to be like you?
You were with Oli for what, a year, and why,
because you were too lazy to end it,
or were you just too afraid of being alone?
-George. -No, I want an answer.
-Were you too lazy to end it? -That's not fair.
No, what's not fair,
is you putting all your baggage onto ME!
-Knock knock. -Hi.
Here she is, boys.
Hey Barnes, I'm sorry about you and Oli.
Oh, I'm glad you guys could make it.
You guys didn't bring ice by any chance, did you?
No. Were we supposed to?
Gretchen was supposed to, but she never texted me back.
Oh, that fuckin' bitch.
Do you have a wine opener?
Don't need ice for Chardonnay.
"You don't need ice for Chardonnay,
-the Cameron Lipsky story". -You know it.
(Barnes) Bottle opener should be in that drawer behind you.
It's so nice to get together and not have to play a game.
I'm sorry, could it be somewhere else?
I don't know, George have you seen the wine opener?
do want to play a game, I could be talked into it.
-Barnes invited Louis. -Did he?
(Emma) Oh, that's nice, we never
-we never all hang out anymore. -These are plates.
OH!
Did I tell you guys about Andy?
Oh you know Andy, Andy Lovell, The hot, hunky guy.
Yeah, Louis was so totally fixated on him.
So... [makes a fanfare noise]
I finally started seeing someone.
At work, this guy Glen,
And, I wrote a song for him.
So, do you have one of those things where you can
just plug the speaker into my iPhone,
and I could just play it for you guys?
Anyway, Andy is missing.
Like your fucking wine opener!
Yea, no one has seen him for a while.
You know, that explains it because I sent him a video
Yeah, he was supposed to go to Berlin on a work trip.
Aw. I wanna go to Berlin.
Yeah, well Louis is freaking out,
but then again, he always freaks out about everything...
Ah, look, I found it!
Oh, have you guys heard about George's new love?
I am not in love.
Ooh... Who's the guy, George?
His name is Joe, and he's super weird.
He isn't weird.
-Okay, he's a little weird. -He is super creepy.
You know Barnes, I wish you'd just stop.
and he's the first guy I've dated in a long time that I actually like,
so for once can you just drop the bitchy gay guy shtick?
Oh my fucking God,
it was a twist off.
(Joe) Hey Louis.
Joe? What are you doing here?
Why are you looking at me like that?
-Is Andy here? -No.
But I don't think it's a good idea
if you go inside.
Why?
I'm seeing this new guy.
Wait, you're not seeing Andy anymore?
No.
Actually, could you stand right over here?
I thought you...
Well, you know Andy and I used to be together.
Could you stand just on the other side of the bricks?
What? No. Why?
Well, I just thought it'd be easier
if you weren't right in front of the window, but...
What would be easier?
[whacking sound]
♪
[blender sounds]
George, what's your guy's name again?
-Joe Palmer. -What?
Joe Palmer.
Joe Palmer?
That sounds so familiar.
-He loves our videos. -Really?
He was at Louis's game night last week with Andy.
Yes!
You guys played games last week?
Well yeah, well he was dating Andy.
Yeah, before Andy disappeared off the face of the Earth.
Joe Palmer was dating Andy?
-Yeah. -Oh, wow George.
So, the guy you're dating who jokes about murder all the time
has an ex who disappeared?
-Oh that's nice. -Wow.
Barnes is just trying to start shit.
No I'm not, I'm not trying to start shit.
I'm just pointing out that the guy you're obsessed with
is kind of a freak!
Joe, you're here! Sorry.
Hey, you got something on your face.
Got it. [chuckles]
So, I guess you guys all know each other.
-Yeah, from um...last week. -Hi.
Hey Joe. Andy's missing.
Okay I know we said no games, but let's play Card Rule,
til Gretchen and Teddy get here.
Oh Jesus, I hate that game. Can't we just drink?
I didn't know you dated Andy.
Yeah, I told you about him.
Yeah, I guess I just didn't realize I knew him.
Joe, have you played this before?
[giggles]
I don't think so.
(Cameron) Barnes, you made up this game.
It's okay, we'll play as a team.
-No teams. -Yeah, no teams.
It's basically like war, but if you play an Ace
you can't speak for an entire round.
It's easy. You'll get it.
Barnes you go first.
Barnes!
I'm flushing out the good cards.
Ugh!
Sorry Cameron.
You can't talk!
She can't talk til the next round,
but she's not out.
If you play an ace, you can't talk.
I get it.
Not to worry!
What? Boom!
Oh, you can't talk.
Okay, my turn, oh triple whammy!
Oh...
-I can't believe... -No talking!
Uh...
What if I don't have an Ace?
you have to pick up the whole pile.
-Pick it up. -Shhhh!
[mouthing directions to play]
Hey, where are Gretchen and Teddy?
They're dead.
[snickering]
We killed them.
Well, I killed them.
(George) I told you guys.
He has a twisted sense of humor.
(Cameron) No talking!
You're strange, Joe.
You don't look like you're joking.
-I'm not joking. -You know what,
I don't think that's very funny.
(George) Okay Joe... -And George, you can't talk.
Joe, it's your turn.
I have all the cards.
So why don't you play them?
[chuckles] Okay...
Well that didn't make any sense.
You put down an Ace, which means you can't talk...
You know what, doesn't matter, I'll pick it up.
Yay! I can talk again.
I'm sorry, I just have to say something.
This game makes zero sense to me,
I have no idea what's happening.
Yeah, it's fine, we don't have to play the game anymore.
Oh thank God. Thank you.
[breathing sighs of relief]
(Emma) Hey, that's mine!
You know what, I'm gonna go make some more drinks.
Can I play my new song for you guys?
No, but I can show you pictures from Cancun?
Okay.
Can I help you with something Joe?
I'm just getting a glass of water.
The glasses are in the cabinet right there.
You just needed a glass, right?
Hey.
Let's go upstairs.
Okay. [chuckles]
Where are you guys going?
Ewww, you guys are guests in this house.
That's very rude.
-Ooh, ooh, me too! -Okay, okay, calm down.
You guys, what was that?
What was what?
That was extremely creepy, right?
You think you might be a little jealous?
Jealous?
Of Joe?
No, I'm not jealous of Joe.
No, I meant you're jealous of George.
No, I'm not jealous of anyone.
Oh my God, you're jealous of Joe?
-You like George? -No, Oh my God!
No, I'm not jealous.
Oh my God, you're SO jealous of George!
No, that's the thing, he's jealous of Joe!
-What?! -You guys are stupid.
This is Barnes' bedroom, huh?
Um hmmm.
He must like art.
I guess, yeah.
So did you tell Barnes about what we've done?
About what?
All the killings.
How about we stop with the killing stuff?
What do you mean?
The killing stuff
is not that funny.
I'm very confused.
Here... kiss me.
You're in such a hurry.
Can we finish our conversation?
I, I...
I'm feeling weird.
No.
Shut up Joe.
Get off of me!
[laughs]
(George) What is wrong with you?
[laughing]
(George) Okay, what the fuck was that?!
What did I do?
Hello...
Joe!
[hamster squeaking]
What are you doing?
Joe.
[hamster squeaking] Joe!
Fucking stop!
Barnes, get up here!
Barnes! Barnes!
Fucking stop!
You're fucking killing her!
Barnes, he's squishing Meryl Streep.
-Let her go! -Barnes!
-Barnes stop! -Meryl!
-He's crazy, he's fucking crazy. -He's not breathing.
-Joe? -He killed Meryl.
Oh my God!
Oh my God, call the police!
I mean ambulance. Go!
Oh my God. Oh my God.
-I think he's dead! -Oh my God!
But he killed my hamster. [hamster squeaks]
I don't know the number for an ambulance,
do you just dial 911?
-I don't know what you dial. -No.
- Just wait. - What happened?
He hit me.
(Cameron) So you killed him?
Barnes did.
We need to call an ambulance right now.
You weren't here, he went crazy,
he was crushing her.
Joe went crazy?
You guys, we need to call an ambulance.
They've got to help us. They've go to...
(Barnes) Cameron!
He's fucking dead all right? He's not breathing.
I fucking killed him. We can't call anybody.
Hey you guys, um...
me and Cameron are just going to take a second.
-Yeah. -What?
Yeah, we're going to go downstairs
and have a private conversation.
Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait... did...
Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God!
Did Barnes kill Joe because he's jealous?
What? No! God.
-Okay. -I don't know.
Cameron, this is going to sound crazy, but
is this some kind of conspiracy,
like, is this a comspiracy that's happening?
Are you, are you, where are you right now?
I don't... we're calling 911.
-He kills small animals. -What?
That was one of the things he used to joke about.
He does taxidermy.
He doesn't joke.
What are you talking about?
Call Teddy and Gretchen.
What?
Just call them please!
I'm not calling them right now.
Fucking call them!!
George! I am not calling them,
they don't have anything to do with this.
He could have killed them!
- What? - Just call them please.
Hey, it's me... Um... I just have a quick question for you.
Um... [exhales]
So if you...
if you see somebody murder someone,
and you don't turn in the person who did the murdering,
Or what happens to like, you and your friend, do you,
-do you like, go to jail or...? -Is that the police?
Call me as soon as you can.
What the fuck Emma?!
It's my brother. He's really smart.
-What? -He's almost a lawyer Cam.
That was his voicemail?!
Yes, he wasn't answering he's probably at work.
Why would he kill his parents?
I don't know.
Because they were rude to me?
-If what he told me is true... -Wait, what about Oli?
No, just his parents,
and Teddy and Gretchen.
I knew there was something wrong with him.
Can you go to jail for killing an insane person?
I don't know. I think so.
If he killed both his parents, and he doesn't have any friends,
then no one knows he's here and we can just...
get rid of the body.
-How? -I don't know.
Dump his body somewhere or something.
Are you serious? We can't do that.
George, I just fucking killed him, I could go to jail!
You knew that he was killing people,
and you didn't even call the police.
I didn't know he was serious.
Who's gonna believe that?
This whole thing could ruin both our lives.
Or, we could just, make it go away.
Come on, come on...
Come on answer!
I've been on hold. I swear to God,
it's rung like 27 times, and they put me on hold,
like, what if there was a fire?
Cameron, hang up.
We can't just call the police,
and not tell them we're calling the police.
We have to give them the chance to realize
it's the right thing to do.
Come on, man, they're our friends.
[phone rings]
Hello?
It's 911!
What? Why did you answer the phone?
I thought it would be my brother.
[in fake accent] Hello, thank you for calling,
I wanted you to know my neighbor's dog
is very barky and loud, and is driving me crazy.
Um hmm...yes...okay, thank you.
That was really good.
She was really mean.
Come on guys, we're going to Griffith park.
[trunk slams]
(Radio Announcer) Investigators are linking the blaze
to a cover up of the murder
of District Attorney, James Palmer and his wife.
The couple's son, Joe Palmer, is missing.
It is estimated that the fire caused
over forty-five million dollars worth of damage
including the home of Sally Jesse Raphael...
See? Rauphael.
An Australian catamaran is home today...
[radio clicks off]
So he really was a killer.
It's a good thing to kill a killer.
I mean, we stopped him, right?
Okay, I'm sorry, why are Emma and I here?
Joe used to joke that you could take a dead body,
and leave it in Griffith Park
and the coyotes would eat the evidence.
I mean, at least I thought he was joking.
Gross.
They want animals to eat his body?
If they try dragging us into this shit,
I'm gonna be SO pissed.
That stuff I was saying earlier about a comspiracy...
I'm just saying.
if hitting someone with a laptop would kill them?
People are harder to kill than you think.
What about Andy?
Andy? What do you mean?
I mean, he probably killed Andy too, right?
Oh my God.
I mean, what are we in the middle of right now?
Oh my God, you're right.
He killed Andy.
And Oli.
Jesus Christ. What is happening?!
Then why don't we call the police?!
Because I KILLED him Emma!
I don't want to go to jail!
Okay Barnes... just, just,
you know there's no way we're gonna get away with this.
Yeah, I am terrible at keeping secrets.
-Wasn't it self-defense? -Kinda...
What are we suppose to do guys?
Take his dead body from the trunk
and put it back upstairs in the bedroom?
No, no, no, I think that's called tampering with a body.
I mean, that will give you like two or three years?
Three.
Okay, so what is it people do?
Do they just like take a dead body to the police
and drop it off and say, hey sorry,
we killed him, we don't know what to do!
But my rationality is really fucked up right now.
What's the least crazy thing to do right now?
I still think it's taking him to the park.
So let's just put him in the fucking park.
Can I play my song for you guys?
[guitar strumming]
♪ I never knew you'd be the love of my life ♪
♪ Before you I was living through nothing but strife. ♪
♪ I see you every day At the desk next to mine ♪
♪ You wear the perfect clothes
♪ Oh, And your hair is so fine! ♪
♪ And someday, someday, someday Yea. ♪
♪ Someday, someday, someday.
♪ You are gonna be mine.
♪ You're gonna be mine.
♪ I know fraternizing's against all the rules. ♪
♪ But falling in love turns you into two fools. ♪
♪ I wish you'd just turn around and look in my eyes. ♪
♪ Then you'd see my heart
♪ which I cannot disguise.
♪ And someday, someday, someday. Yea. ♪
♪ Someday, someday, someday.
♪ You're gonna be mine.
[guitar strumming]
♪ I wish you'd take down that picture of her. ♪
♪ The one in your cubicle.
♪ She's wearing a fur.
♪ And one of these days you might remember my name. ♪
♪ You always call me Jenna, but that's almost the same. ♪
♪ And someday, someday, someday. Yea. ♪
♪ Someday, someday, someday.
♪ You're gonna be mine.
[guitar strumming]
He really does call me Jenna.
This is Glen, right?
(George) I liked it.
[thumping from back of car]
No, no, no, no!
Fuck no, NO!
Come on, get in the car, George.
Get in the car George!
All we have to do is kill your friends.
I understand this will be really hard for you to do.
But this is the clean slate we need.
My parents have a lake house up north.
We can live there,
we can hunt our own food,
plant a garden.
I don't have to kill anymore
if you don't want me to.
I mean, after we kill these guys.
What?!
I'm in love with you George.
Wait, what?...
I know you love me too.
Did you even like Beef and Broccoli?
Yes George.
I've never lied to you.
Ever.
Okay.
So how should we do it?
Well,
I've got lots of knives.
Oh my God! No!
George! No!
Everybody stop, what's happening?!
What George, you're gonna kill us?
You're not a killer!!
Yes George, I never thought you could be the killer
but I guess now you are.
Cameron! Wait, stop!
What's happening?!
That's crazy, you're not serious!
You can't be serious.
Look, I know I said earlier this was a conspiracy,
but I didn't really believe that.
Oh my God!
You're not serious!
Are you swear to God you're serious,
or are you joking?
Are you doing this to trick him?
You swear to God?
What the fuck is happening?!
He's serious Emma! So shut the fuck up!
I've got a plan.
If you guys say anything,
George and I will kill them too.
[christian music playing on radio]
Are you guys okay?
This is crazy!
They're gonna grow their own food?
Yeah, we're okay ma'am we just ran out of gas.
Yeah, and, she's never run out of gas before.
Well ya gotta be careful on this road,
people drive pretty fast.
All right, well thank you ma'am.
And it's kind of hot, do you have water?
I have juice boxes in the back.
Thank you. We're fine.
Are you guys from around this area?
Silver lake.
-Echo Park -Historic Filipino town.
My sister just went to...
now what is that place?
University Studios?
Universal.
What was that honey?
-Universal Studios. -Universal Studios.
Yes, that's it. She had a blast.
Have you ever been to Universal Studios?
I have.
Have you... been to Universal Studios?
Yeah.
Have you ever been to Universal Studios?
-Actually I haven't. -You haven't?!
-Never made the time to go. -Make the time.
What about you, bashful?
You know what ma'am, we're actually all good.
So, you should probably go.
Actually,
we could really use a ride to a gas station.
No, ma'am, you should go right now!
Oh, it's okay honey, I'd be happy to give you a ride.
Joe, my friends and I are going to stay here with the car,
you're going to go to the gas station.
(Joe) They know everything.
The world knows everything, Joe.
It was on the radio.
I want to start a new life with you.
Clean slate, like you said.
Well, we just need a car then.
Exactly, a car.
Which is why,
you are going to go with the this nice lady here.
-What's your name, ma'am? -Karen.
Karen. I have an Aunt Karen.
You're going to go with Karen.
Kill the lady, take the car,
meet me at the gas station.
Why don't you just come with me right now?
Because I have to go to the bank,
and empty my accounts.
We can do that together.
Well, Barnes owes me a lot of money,
and I don't want to embarrass him in front of everybody.
Also you have to get rid of this body.
You know, hide it, chop it up, whatever it is you do.
You're good at this.
A new start.
You and me.
God, I just really wanna kill them.
I know you do.
I love you Joe.
I love you too.
So, are you boys coming with me?
I got sherbert melting in here.
Well come on in, Joe.
[engine starts]
Karen Bennett. Nice to meet you.
Why do you have a machete?
He's gonna kill that woman isn't he?
Karen?
Yeah.
I feel terrible.
Okay, so we're gonna call the police now, right?!
I don't know. I mean, is what I did illegal?
See? It's hard!
Emma?
Emma let's get out of here!
You wanna know what's crazy?
Part of me wants to go meet him at the gas station.
Are you fucking kidding me!?
I'm not going to!
I guess we should be going.
What are we going to do now?
I don't know, but I've got to stop somewhere to eat.
Oh, we passed a taco place like 30 minutes ago.
What else?
I don't know.
I think there's a Carl's Junior around here maybe.
I can't eat fast food.
-Eck. -No.
-Although their fries. -The fries.
We should have their fries,
-right? -Yeah, yeah.
We are so bad.
We are terrible.
-Hi guys, it's George! -And Barnes!
We are so sorry it's been so long since our last video.
to all our new subscribers, all our new fans.
Yeah, you guys are so awesome.
You're so awesome.
I mean, this has been such a wild ride.
I always knew our videos were going to take off,
like you knew that, but I had no idea they would be this huge.
-Yeah, this is like, huge. -Huge.
-It's crazy. -It's crazy.
We've got more Pam and Tabby coming out soon.
-More Country Cooks . -More Denise and Susan .
And we've got more Ladies on Fire!
-Bringing them back. -Right now.
Puppy food. Puppy food.
Puppy Food Challenge.
Oh God!
Eat your heart out you two.
It's actually not that bad.
Here's a picture of me with Dana Delaney.
What are we doing?
And we have loved hearing from you guys
in the comment section.
Look at this picture!
This Tuesday...
We will be guests on...
(both) The Talk !
I mean...
From where we were to where we are now...
Don't forget to like us on Instagram, follow us on Twitter,
and subscribe to our brand new podcast,
Bloody Sundays , on iTunes.
Oh, and add us on Facebook.
And thank you so much for watching
and keep re-tweeting, and keep favoriting
and keep sharing, and until next time
-I'm George. -Anyway, I don't know
if you can even see it.
-How many views this time? -300k.
Okay, how about this for our next video?
Barnes and I play two sassy cops.
Who also sing.
-Okay. -Genius, right?
Can you sing?
How dare you!
Of course I can sing!
I don't know,
I never heard you sing.
Okay, really though, I have to go.
All right? I will talk to you later.
-Love you. -I love you too.
Bye.
♪